How to Keep Showing Up When Nothing Feels Like It's Happening

There's days I wake up and feel like I've completely lost my purpose. My alarm goes off at 5am and I snooze it until 5:20, and instead of bouncing out of bed like I do when there's excitement about the day ahead, I crawl out and think, why am I even up? It's fucking 5am. And then I quickly start my morning routine, not because I want to but because there's something inside me, a burning desire to succeed, a willingness to never give up no matter how hard it gets. That feeling is built over time, with consistency and commitment, even when there's zero evidence anything is changing. This is resilience. And resilience is built through the hard times.

My morning routine is relentless, and no-one can break it (besides my son waking up early). Sometimes I think this is why I'm still single — you have to be a special kind of person for me to break my routine for.

I make my detox shot (ginger, chia seeds and lemon), pour a litre of hot lemon water, boil the kettle. Headphones in, listening to a self-concept song I created — a powerful morning manifestation.

Then pilates, then my detox tea (dandelion and liquorice). I've always been able to stomach any drink no matter how horrible it tastes as long as it has health benefits, and this tea is no exception. Then I carry on with an activation, silent meditation and identity ritual. Usually takes around an hour. Some mornings Angus wakes up halfway through and prides himself on scaring the life out of me while I'm deep in meditation — "rahhh," he jumps at me, and I nearly jump through the roof.

I'm surprised I haven't had a heart attack.

My routine has gotten stronger over the years and it's something I will never miss, no matter what. No matter how tired, no matter how bad the day before was. And honestly, no matter how I wake up, I always feel a million times better afterwards. My night routine is just as solid, slightly different.

Do I think this has changed my life? Absolutely. But the evidence is slow. Painfully slow. And this is why most people give up — because as much as you want radical change in 30 days like every manifestation coach claims will happen, it's simply not true. It takes years of work to change your core beliefs, to face your wounds, and actually make a change. As much as I want to speed it up and receive miracles now, it simply doesn't happen that way.

But I know in myself that things are changing. I have such a strong belief that everything will work out, no matter how hard I'm hit — and let me tell you, I've had some blows. Especially over the past 18 months. Divorce, moving interstate for a better life for my son and I, friendship breakdowns, situation-ships that nearly put me in a straight jacket, financial pressure and the intense pressure to lead a team when I felt like my entire world was burning down around me. There were days I genuinely didn't think I could survive another one. But I did. I kept showing up. Every fucking day. Showing up as a mum, showing up as a friend, showing up as the founder of a franchise, showing up at 5am.

Because this is where the real work happens.

So if you're in a season where nothing feels like it's moving, where you've done the work and still can't see it — I'm not going to tell you to trust the process, because who wants to hear that when they feel like their life is blowing up in smoke. I'm going to tell you to keep setting the alarm, keep making the tea that tastes like shit. Keep showing up at 5am even when all you want to do is stay in bed with an electric blanket. Because the proof was never going to show up overnight. It shows up one day as a life you don't recognise from the one you're currently white-knuckling through. And that day comes for the people who didn't quit on the hard days before it.